{{2010_04_23_t1.jpg}} {{2010_04_23_t2.jpg}} {{2010_04_23_t3.jpg}} [[http://www.jesusnetwork.eu/de/doku.php/jn_de_2010_04_23|Deutsche Version]] [[Start|| Wiki Start]] [[topics_collection_ii|| Topics Collection ii ]] ======Man and woman 4 - Healthy relationships ...====== Friday, April 23, 2010. When you talk about women or about men, what is it that comes to your mind first? What is moving your emotions and your thoughts? Perhaps you have fallen in love, but it is not working currently. Or you have been disappointed. Or you are having big trouble with a relationship. It might also be that you are very lucky currently, that you found someone for a wonderful partnership ... {{2010_04_23.jpg }} **Healthy relationships** Healthy relationships are built by partners, who know their value. That is a key point. When you want to go into a loving relationship and want it to be sustainable and continue to flourish and develop, then you should know your own value. The biblical idea is that first there is the relationship to God. We should love God first, as he loves us deeply. He wants to be the center of our life. From him we get the attention and help we need. He is the source of life, he is the ultimate goal, he is the first and the last. Sometimes singles desire a relationship and think: when he or she accepts me as a partner, then my life is complete. Or: then I am worth much more. But that is not true, it is a dangerous illusion. Yes, we are dependent on each other in love. But we need a life beyond the love. We need to depend on the Lord, not primarily on the partner. And we need our partner to be in God's hands, not primarily in our own hands depending on our own support. God is the center, we are not the center! {{ 2010_04_23_2.jpg}} **Acceptance and tolerance, love and support** Partnership needs acceptance and tolerance. You are different from your partner. Your partner has ideas, gifts, character features and goals which you do not have. You have some ideas your partner will not share. Acceptance on a very broad level is absolutely crucial here. Give your partner his own life! Give her her own life! Accept and tolerate your partner. Mutual support is a consequence of deep acceptance, love and tolerance. When two people live together, it is a key point to support the goals of one another. But that also means, that every day I have to give up some of my goals for that day. I need to do what serves the other person. I need to sacrifice my own ideals and goals. Just do, what she needs. Just do, what he needs. When partners start to control each other, the partnership is close to failure. When they start to give up something to support the other person, it is moving towards success. There needs to be a balance between the partners. If one always gives in, the other determines the direction, then you are moving in a dangerous direction. If you start to fight about who determines what, you live dangerously. But you might start to compete who supports the other partner best. You might choose things the other person likes and give it a priority. - Today lets do what YOU always wanted! - No, lets do what YOU were longing for for quite a while! - ... Heaven on earth is not that far away from you! [[http://www.jesusnetwork.eu/en/doku.php/topics_collection_ii|... more texts]]